Author: drbenniecallowaythethird

I can recall veteran actor John Lithgow did a commercial for Campbell’s Soup and the ad ran pretty strong in 2005 and the question he posed at the end of the commercial has resonated with me all these years. Why Settle When You Can Select?

The word settle from a relational standpoint means being ready to accept less than what you want or deserve. You choose to accept things that you know doesn’t set right with your spirit but you allow yourself to embrace the “going along to get along” mindset. There are so many individuals that have settled for an unfulfilled relationship, job, church affiliation, social network or whatever it may be that makes them silently miserable. They feel that if they vocalize their discontent that they will proverbially “rock the boat.” It will negatively impact their financial stability, reputation, or the ingrained routine they have set for themselves or others that are involved.

When you make a conscious, deliberate or volitional decision to settle, you are basically allowing others to make decisions for you. Your identity has been swallowed up in someone else’s. You’re being led instead of doing the leading. You have to do all the listening and never get a chance to do any talking, you follow the desires and wishes of others but you have to keep your desires and wishes concealed at the risk of being labeled that it’s “all about you.” The truth is when you settle it’s never about you and it never will be about you! Your head hurts from nodding it back and forth listening to others and you bury your hopes, dreams, desires and inspirations unexpressed. When you are emotionally smothered, you are a victim of your own settling. We all get what we tolerate. Compromise is one thing but pandering to the needs of others at the expense of your needs going unmet is unfortunate.

It’s time to select. It means to carefully choose what is best or most suitable. This is your life. Stop letting others write the script for you and you’re the actor or actress in their production. Remember the filmmaker and the producer earns more money than the actior or actress starring in the film! You need to live your life by writing your own script as well as directing and producing. It’s healthy to say no. You don’t have to fulfill everyone else’s wishes while your wishes go unfulfilled. You don’t have to make everyone else’s dreams come true while your dreams remain unrealized. When will you do some things for yourself without harboring guilt? If you don’t choose you lose!

You have the right to selectivity, to do what is best for your spiritual, mental, and physical well being. To select is to explore the options you have in life because if you don’t make yourself a priority do not expect anyone else to! Where you are positionally, conditionally and locationally is not the only place you can be! There are other things to do, other places to go and other people to see! You want to be able to live in peace with your decision in the long term and be willing to take full responsibility for your selection. Let your selection today set the course for an improved and peaceful tomorrow!

Many times there are so many individuals that are battling with mental health challenges that often give clear indicators that they are crying out for help. It is a sure sign that they are on the edge of doing something drastic to gain relief for their prolonged suffering. What magnifies their pain even more is when they feel that the signs they are giving to those in their personal circle are often being ignored and the response is an overspiritualized or religious platitude that minimizes on their part the intensity of their experience. But when we lack sensitivity to this delicate condition and judge everyone’s life on a “performance basis,” as it relates to behavior, the cry for help can go right over our heads. We have to listen to what individuals are saying as well as what they are not saying and exercise our intuition to connect the dots or read between the lines. We have to get rid of our elitist and self-righteous mindsets thinking that some people are deliberate in how they behave when in actuality they are walking an “emotional tightrope” for the fight of their lives with no safety net to catch them if they fall.

When you discover individuals that that are constantly vacillating from one school of thought to another when grappling with making a decision and you see outer expressions of inner conflict, you need to pay close attention! Don’t wait until a person commits suicide, abruptly leaves home for an extended period of time, have an emotional meltdown, displays fits of rage or finally tries to explain to you what’s going on inside their head before you wake up! Then you will have to wrestle with the guilt of not being able to recognize the signs and it makes it even more painful for you moving forward after a person’s death or helping them to recover from serious injury that could be self-afflicted.

We should prayerfully desire to be on the preventative end of helping others with optimal mental health rather than working through the corrective end of the process. If you have been insensitive to the mental health needs of others please express your apologies and find ways to be more gracious and kind and less judgmental and condemnatory for behaviors you do not understand.

We do should do our best to help monitor each other’s mental health whether it be a spouse, child, colleague or a leader in your community. There are so many individuals that are having internal battles in ways we cannot fathom. So lend a listening ear, an understanding heart, and open mind and help those you love get on the pathway to healing! Don’t Say I Didn’t Warn You!

It is customary when a Catholic believer goes to confession at a local parish and enters the confessional booth in most cases anonymously behind the screen, they make the sign of the cross and say the following: Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. Then the priest will reply with the question, When was your last confession? Then the confessor will disclose when the last time they confessed their sins.

The word confession is the Greek word homologeo, which is a fusion of two Greek words, the word homo which means the same and the word logeo or logos which means speech or to speak. So the word confession means to say the same thing as another, to agree with, to declare openly or speak out freely the same thing God says about you. When was your last confession? I am healed, I am prosperous, I am an overcomer. I live my life by what I believe and not what I see. The course and quality of my life is dictated by the inward promptings of the Holy Spirit and not by outward fear mongering of the daily news cycle.

When we read the truth of the scripture, we should appropriate these divine principles to our daily life by how we walk, talk, live and give. If this is not the case and you’re not cultivating and protecting your heart from fear, negativity, pessimism and hopelessness, you will begin to say the same things others say and you will reap the fruit of your confession. King Solomon is quoted in Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” You outward actualization is a by product of your inward acknowledgement. Allow your tongue to be an asset for your life and not a liability in your life. Get in agreement with God and say what He says about you and your confession will transport the manifestation of blessings to you. It’s not what I say about you that counts but it is what you say about you that counts!

Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was far more than a civil rights leader when we engage in a deliberate and intentional ongoing study of his life and work. There are constantly new discoveries. And those discoveries have to be brought to the forefront.

Dr. King was a global humanitarian, a philosophical intellectual, a profound orator, a thought leader, a prophetic mouthpiece, an inclusionary preacher that transcended his life and message beyond civil rights and the exclusive needs of black people in America. He helped to shape public policy for public accommodations and voting rights and became an international ambassador for peace as a Nobel Peace Prize Laureate. He evolved because he chose to get involved.

I read a quote a few days ago by an unknown author that said “Tell people enough about you so they will know who you are not. Let people learn enough about you so they know who you are.” Dr. King told us enough about himself in his short 39 year life where we could rationally conclude who he was not. It’s not how long live but how well you live, because longevity without productivity leads to futility. And 54 years after his physical death, we are still learning about him so we can know who Dr. King was and how America is an improved nation because of his contribution.

Dr. King’s sermons, speeches, statements and sound bites were so cutting edge and prophetic until his words still speak to the present condition of America. He was so far ahead of his time when many of his generation could not receive his message or embrace his movement. It makes me think about the biblical narrative when Cain rose up and slew his brother Abel, the Lord let Cain know that his brother’s blood cries from the ground. And when Dr. King was assassinated nearly 54 years ago, his voice wasn’t silenced, but he’s still speaking. People often ask what would Dr. King say regarding the present condition of America, he wouldn’t say anything different he said 54 years ago, because his message is right on point where we are living now. The players are different, but the game is still the same. Regression is waging a war against progression in America. And it takes unearthing ancient truth in order to engage in a treading advance for America to live up to its principles in practice.

King said “Ever since the signing of the Declaration of Independence, America has manifested a schizophrenic personality on the question of race. She has been torn between selves–a self in which she has proudly professed democracy and a self in which she has sadly practiced the antithesis of democracy.”

 Principles will always outlive a person because they are designed not just for the present generation but for generations to come to become a living and working reality in our day to day lives. We will always receive divine assistance once we fulfill our human responsibility. You are the hands and feet of the Divine to make a mark in the Universe as Dr. King did that will live throughout eternity. I believe that God will balance the scales of justice and He will right every wrong. William Cullen “Truth crushed to earth shall rise again.” James Russell Lowe “Truth forever on the scaffold…” Theodore Parker said “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”

King the man had the courage to be, he stayed the course to be, and ultimately, he paid the cost to be. If a man hasn’t found something he’s willing to die for, he isn’t fit to live.

Have you ever made a major life decision you seemed very certain about and then after making that decision uncertainty set in? I would suspect all of us reading this can identify with that reaction. During this period of uncertainty that could last for days, weeks, months or years you begin to question yourself, How could I have made that decision then and feel this way now? During this time of internal inquiry, you question your sanity, emotional state, circumstances, influences and other factors at the time of decision. We often find ourselves reflecting more after the decision than taking adequate consideration projecting before the decision.

When you are certain you know for sure and you are established in heart and mind without a doubt. No matter what happens you remain committed to your decision without compromise. This is your story and you’re sticking with it. When you are uncertain you lack confidence or assurance about a matter. On the other side of the decision there are things that come into play we often don’t anticipate. We’re on the outside looking in but when you’re in it’s another game altogether. Reactive doubt is one thing when you ask yourself, Did I make the right decision? This is quite natural and there should be no room for self-deprecation or personal condemnation. Everyone has doubts! Never forget this! But when there is residential doubt, when it’s consistent and ongoing, there may have been some red flags that you failed to recognize or you ignored your spiritual metal detector that was going off but you drowned out the alarm with rationalization. You could’ve been emotionally vulnerable that someone more strong willed at the time may have leveraged to their advantage. But whatever the case may have been, there are some factors you have to take into consideration on the other side of your decision to determine if you need to make some difficult but necessary changes for your own personal freedom and peace.

These factors include but are not limited to reevaluating the right motive and right end goal, knowing your endurance factor for unpleasant experiences in the process, your values and morality cannot be compromised, a willingness or unwillingness to be stretched, the decision is worthwhile or the decision is not worth possible headaches and heartaches I may have to endure, I will experience joy and fulfillment or I was happier before I made this decision.

It is my hope that when you experience reactive doubt, focus on the big picture and keep moving forward. If you’re experiencing residential doubt do not stay in a place positionally or conditionally to prolong your agony that affects and infects every area of your life. Make the change, your freedom and peace is paramount!!!

The phraseology it’s ok not to be ok has its origin from a South Korean romantic drama television series and later became a song in our American culture. This statement has taken on a life of its own in many mental health circles. It simply means that as an individual you are acknowledging in an honest and forthright way that your mental and emotional state is not always where you would like for it to be. We all find ourselves in an emotional funk whether occasionally or frequently. The initiative to acknowledge this state is one of the first steps to regaining emotional and mental health. Your healing is in your honesty, your victory is in your vulnerability and your transformation is in your transparency.

I am hopeful that anyone that finds themselves in a “not ok” posture will not dig their heels in this state and render it permanent. There must be some determined resolve on your part to change your mental state. Life has so many twists and turns, changes and challenges, headaches and heartaches until you often wonder which way to go. However, one of the first steps to regaining your mental health to no longer remain not ok is to have “go to” people that will be a source of strength in your life like a spouse, parent, clergyman, counselor, friend or colleague who will lift you up with their words who see the best in you when you cannot see the best in yourself. Secondly, I think it is important to read positive material, listen to positive music and watch positive television programming that brings hope and inspiration to your life to help change your focus. It is often what we are focused on that determines our feelings. The late Rev. Ike taught that “you have to tell your feelings how to feel.” Thirdly, I believe it’s important to reach out to others and check on them. Sometimes when we see how others are doing we may discover that our situation is not as severe. Of course, this is not to say that we are comparing our mental state with others but when you learn of someone dealing with more severe issues than yourself it cultivates compassion in your own heart to pray for them, offer words of encouragement, and declare best wishes for them. When that happens, you will find yourself feeling better and regaining strength and having your joy restored to live a more productive day.

It is my hope that you will have a prosperous year spiritually, physically, financially and most of all mentally. Always remember “Have The Courage, Pay The Price, And Stay The Course To Remain Original!”

I believe that the Holy Spirit has made it apparent to me that 2020 is The Year of Conquest. And a conquest is the subjugation and assume control of a place by force. Of course there are many in recent days who have predicted, prophesied and prognosticated that 2020 is The Year of Clear Vision. I neither disagree nor dispute what they believe the Lord has spoken to them because that word can be relative to them as individuals as well as those who have been assigned to them in ministry. However I think the issue has never been about clear vision but the greater issue at hand is our unbelief and procrastination in what we have seen that the Holy Spirit has made overtly clear to us. We have feared the clarity of revelation knowledge and visuals that the Lord has always intended for us to walk in which has caused us to regress and retreat and settle for mediocrity, average, and status quo environments in our spiritual, mental, physical and financial lives. The Lord had given Moses clear vision of the land of Canaan before the Children of Israel, he wrote in Deuteronomy 1:2 that from the wilderness to Canaan would be an 11 day journey. But because of unbelief, murmuring and complaining, Israel wandered in the wilderness for 38 years. And now that Joshua has taken the reins of leadership after the death of Moses, he lets Israel know that they will enter Canaan in three days. He knew how crucial and critical it was for them to move forward after so much time had been wasted and no progress had been made. Moses’ leadership style was one of a caretaker, but Joshua’s leadership style was one of a conqueror. Conquerors don’t engage in trivialities but only engage in progress, forwarding, and advancement in spiritual affairs. And to conquer is the Greek nikao, which means to carry off the victory, come off victorious, victorious over all His foes, of believers, that hold fast their faith even unto death against the power of their foes, and temptations and persecutions when one is arraigned or goes to law, to win the case, maintain one’s cause. In Romans 8:37, Paul the Apostle declared “Nay, in all these things, we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.” Conquerors is the Greek hypernikao, which means to gain a hyper surpassing and decisive victory, to vanquish the opposition, to humiliate and demoralize, to win by a wide margin because they really had no chance coming in (Calloway Emphasis!) So the Holy Spirit intends for us to pursue and possess what has been promised. The vision has always been clear, we were never clear in our faith to pursue and possess, but we retreated and allowed our promised blessings to be repossessed! God honors massive action, activity, engagement and forward progress toward what belongs to you. We have  invested much time putting in a request in prayer when the Lord wants to engage in conquest by laying hold of what belongs to us. You no longer have to pray for what you possess, the possession must manifest in actuality. It’s almost like someone calling, emailing, or texting letting you know you have a package, but you need to come by and pick it up. There can be no divine intervention manifested until there is human responsibility in motion. There will be enemies, adversarial forces and opposing foes will make efforts to hinder, obstruct, and prevent you from attaining and obtaining your promises but the Lord is Jehovah-Adonai, He will rule over you and rule in your favor as your faith is activated. Faith in what we have seen will energize us to seize what we see. Make a physical claim to a spiritual promise. Go get it!

Copyright 2020, Bennie Calloway The Third Ministries, Inc.

 

My dear wife Tanyala died on May 26, 2019 after an extended illness. I am so proud of her of how she exhibited such strong faith, courage, tenacity, and positivity. Her life ended well. However, the day of her death was one of the darkest days of my life along with my two daughters Hannah and Kayla. I loved my wife very much and we would have celebrated our 24th wedding anniversary on June 24th. She was a beautiful woman inwardly and outwardly. She was always immaculately dressed with all coordinating accessories, she took great pride in her appearance and she always taught our daughters to do the same. We enjoyed color coordinating, whatever suit, tie, or shirt I had, she would find a way to match with me with her dresses, shirts, blouses, accessories, etc. It was one of our trademarks as a couple. More importantly, she had a loving, sweet, and gentle spirit and was always an encourager and knew how to build you up when you were at your lowest. She found her calling as an Activity Director in the Convalescent Facility and made a profound impact on the residents, families, and co-workers she came in contact with. She was a prayerful and supportive partner in ministry, I always had confidence that I could get through preaching a message whenever I had her by my side. I could have not asked for a better wife, partner, lover, and friend.

We met on September 25, 1993 at Mount Carmel House of God Saints In Christ Church in Valdosta, GA at a revival service while we were both students at Valdosta State University. I had been preaching only a year and had launched a campus Bible Study. Prior to meeting her, she was attending a prayer meeting at an evangelist’s home and during the time of prayer, this evangelist saw in a vision my wife and I meeting and she admonished her to attend my campus Bible Study and we did not know each other at that time. She was attending a church across town that had a local television ministry on cable. I would watch the broadcast in my dorm room and I saw my wife singing in the choir and the first time I laid eyes on her I said out loud, I’m going to marry that woman! A year and 8 months after meeting her, we did marry. It was one of the happiest days of my life. It appears to me that our marriage was prophetic! We had a great marriage, we went through much adversity with her health, our finances, and the hardships of ministry, but we managed to persevere and it was love that kept us together!

Eulogizing my wife on June 1, 2019, I could not share 26 years of memories in the time allotted but we had some wonderful times, we traveled extensively with my preaching engagements as well as vacation sites. We enjoyed being together

A few amusing things about my wife is that she loved watermelon. Whenever I bought her a watermelon or a few slices out of the grocery store, it was as if I had bought her a diamond ring. Anything I did for her great or small, she showed so much appreciation and made it a big deal even if it wasn’t. She also loved vases, I purchased her vases from all over in all shapes, sizes and colors. Also, she had a fear or rats, even though we didn’t have a rat problem in our home, she didn’t like rats on television, toy rats, or any kind of rat. I could mention the word rat and it would get her flustered lol!

There are many things in life that I have doubts about  but a few things I have no doubt about it. I knew that my wife loved me, loved our daughters, she loved to give and help others even if it was at her own peril and she had great faith and a love for God! I wish she was still here with me and the girls where we could’ve resumed our marriage and family life together with her making a full recovery with her health. But however, as long as the Lord will allow the cords of my memory to lengthen and linger, I will have 26 years of memories with this great woman that I will never forget that the public knows little about. I just wanted to share a few thoughts that my wife changed my life! I am a better man, husband and father because of my wife Tanyala!

A balance is a beam that is supported freely in the center and has two pans of equal weight suspended from its ends, an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady, equal elements in correct proportions.

Proverbs 11:1 says “A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is His delight.”

Proverbs 20:23 says “Divers weights are abomination to the Lord, and a false balance is not good.”

From these verses of Solomon, we can conclude that false balances of extremism in beliefs, actions, and treatment of people has its roots in deceit and trickery, there are underpinnings of fraudulence. An abomination is anything that is disgusting, detestable, that involves vicious actions with the intent to hurt and harm people. Divers weights refer to stones being too light or too heavy on a scale that creates imbalance. Some truths can be overemphasized at the expense of neglecting or de-emphasizing other truths especially when it comes to societal and cultural issues we face in the United States and around the world. Anything extreme is furthest from the center or a given point, outermost, going to great or exaggerated lengths, where the pendulum swings too far to the left or too far to the right. A just weight is the delight of divinity, those who constantly and consistently practice their faith and spirituality. The word just is shalem in Hebrew which means complete, safe, perfect, whole and peace. The word delight is ratsom in Hebrew which means pleasure, acceptance, and goodwill.

I believe that spiritual people should be balanced in their spirituality, people of faith should exhibit balance in their faith and should avoid extremes and fanaticism. You can draw truth and perspective from various schools of thought. All do not have the right answers and all do not have the wrong answers.

A false balance, deceptive character or extremism is not good according to the proverb, it is not agreeable t the senses, nor pleasant to the higher nature, nor prosperous to our sensuous nature. Extremes do not promote the welfare of human society because they are destructive in nature. When I am extreme, I cannot entertain any other beliefs but my own, I cannot associate with any other group of people unless they believe exclusively like I believe and practice the customs that I practice.

Lord David Cecil said “All extremes are error. The reverse of error is not truth but error still. Truth lies between these extremes.”

Karl Wilhem Frederic Schlegel said “Combine the extremes and you will have the true center.”

Our national and global issues we face politically, socially, economically and racially are taking a turn for the worse in many instances all resulting in beliefs and philosophies that are taken to the extreme. The majority of wars we’ve had in human history are all a result of extreme beliefs. Religion has been the greatest extreme of all, as a result, we’ve had slavery, segregation, lynchings, the Klu Klux Klan, White Nationalism, Governor George Wallace, Bull Connor, David Duke, ISIS, and the Jihad to name a few. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., Medgar Evers, Malcolm X, Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy, and President John F. Kennedy as well other global leaders were all assassinated by perpetrators that exhibited extreme beliefs. Mass shootings and police brutality are all a result of extreme beliefs. When you lose balance, you lose reason and sensibility.

Our faith and spiritual community often contributes to the problem instead of being a solution to the problem. Evangelical leaders such as Robert Jeffers, Franklin Graham, Jerry Falwell, Jr. and the like support a Federal Government and a Commander In Chief that promotes an agenda of hate, bigotry, racism, and discrimination against the poor, middle class, African Americans, Hispanics and Hispanic Americans, Immigrants, Muslims and Muslim Americans and the LBGT community. The question is How do we find balance in a world of extremes? I believe it begins with three things we have to de-emphasize which is to reduce the importance or prominence of a thing.

#1. We must de-emphasize our beliefs. We have to ask ourselves what do we really believe and why we believe it? Do those beliefs add to or take away from the quality of our lives. Are you more intelligent or have acquired more wealth or changed more lives for the better with the current beliefs you ascribe to? It that is not the case, those beliefs aren’t as important to you as you’ve thought even though you may have held them for most of your life. Your beliefs should evolve as you choose to get involved in the lives of others improving their quality of life because you acquire beliefs based on investigation and not inheritance based on someone’s else experience that shouldn’t determine how you choose to live your life.

#2. We must de-emphasize our belongings. We place too much emphasis on our associations and affiliations with groups and organizations to such an extreme until we allow this part of our lives to shape our identity. You were who you were before you belonged to a particular group or organization. When we become so bold to express our affiliation with a group or organization whether it be religious, social, or cultural, we automatically exclude or limit people that can enter our lives and we we enter into theirs for mutual spiritual benefit. We alienate people because we define our importance and status by who we affiliate with and who we think we are. We have to remember that status can be removed but significance can remain. We create boundaries, limitations, restrictions and boundaries. If your belonging doesn’t increase your intelligence, health and wealth, it isn’t as important as you deem it to be. There is always a danger and destruction in taking things too far.

#3. We must de-emphasize our behavior or the way we act or conduct ourselves especially towards others, our response to a particular situation or stimuli. It’s easy to be critical of other people’s behavior and lifestyle without having a clear understanding of the root causes of the behavior and why they do what they do. Cultivating relationships with others different from us is so important because we foster environments to help people grow and change into who they were always intended to be. No one person is the standard for top notch moral and spiritual behavior, we learn from each other. So as long as you’re not the standard, I don’t have to contend with the pressure of trying to be like you.

Extremism can be neutralized when we no longer focus so much on what we believe, where we belong, and how we behave but our focus should be geared toward our being. To be is to function in your true inner identity in your outer experiencing. It there is no being, there can consequently be no doing  and having. It is at the center of who we are is where we find balance and avoid extremes because your heart determines what you believe, where you belong, and how you behave. That’s balance.