Why Settle When You Can Select?

I can recall veteran actor John Lithgow did a commercial for Campbell’s Soup and the ad ran pretty strong in 2005 and the question he posed at the end of the commercial has resonated with me all these years. Why Settle When You Can Select?

The word settle from a relational standpoint means being ready to accept less than what you want or deserve. You choose to accept things that you know doesn’t set right with your spirit but you allow yourself to embrace the “going along to get along” mindset. There are so many individuals that have settled for an unfulfilled relationship, job, church affiliation, social network or whatever it may be that makes them silently miserable. They feel that if they vocalize their discontent that they will proverbially “rock the boat.” It will negatively impact their financial stability, reputation, or the ingrained routine they have set for themselves or others that are involved.

When you make a conscious, deliberate or volitional decision to settle, you are basically allowing others to make decisions for you. Your identity has been swallowed up in someone else’s. You’re being led instead of doing the leading. You have to do all the listening and never get a chance to do any talking, you follow the desires and wishes of others but you have to keep your desires and wishes concealed at the risk of being labeled that it’s “all about you.” The truth is when you settle it’s never about you and it never will be about you! Your head hurts from nodding it back and forth listening to others and you bury your hopes, dreams, desires and inspirations unexpressed. When you are emotionally smothered, you are a victim of your own settling. We all get what we tolerate. Compromise is one thing but pandering to the needs of others at the expense of your needs going unmet is unfortunate.

It’s time to select. It means to carefully choose what is best or most suitable. This is your life. Stop letting others write the script for you and you’re the actor or actress in their production. Remember the filmmaker and the producer earns more money than the actior or actress starring in the film! You need to live your life by writing your own script as well as directing and producing. It’s healthy to say no. You don’t have to fulfill everyone else’s wishes while your wishes go unfulfilled. You don’t have to make everyone else’s dreams come true while your dreams remain unrealized. When will you do some things for yourself without harboring guilt? If you don’t choose you lose!

You have the right to selectivity, to do what is best for your spiritual, mental, and physical well being. To select is to explore the options you have in life because if you don’t make yourself a priority do not expect anyone else to! Where you are positionally, conditionally and locationally is not the only place you can be! There are other things to do, other places to go and other people to see! You want to be able to live in peace with your decision in the long term and be willing to take full responsibility for your selection. Let your selection today set the course for an improved and peaceful tomorrow!